Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in hunttheabyss' LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, July 15th, 2009
2:57 pm	Shudder Broken dolls, falls and falls bleeding souls, inconsoles fading fast, not break fast filling sorrow, on the morrow she's borrowing against a future that she self sabatoges, refusing to nurture watching the barges, the lack of love for everyone else but me, is a pity white knight no more, blank a bore don't even know what for against a distant shore Close, in trouble, perhaps another shudder desiring love, but fear drives it out stop not talking, let out a shout fill us with potential not evil Current Mood: Bittersweet (Comment on this)
Friday, July 3rd, 2009
9:29 pm	been playing a vampire game ...wrote a poem song "It's the eyes." It's the eyes, the body tells lies, the mouth a seductive kiss, promising bliss... but that eye, what does it scry? It's a predators eye, it wants you to die, but not until it taste your fear you feel the breath upon your neck near the pain begins to sear away everything you hold dear the pleasure washes you away under forevermore their sway until you fail or bore them true and you fall to ground drained and blue Current Mood: bitchy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
4:01 pm	rapping Cruisin, you stop cause you see a wreck roadside, hope no casualty social life, yours, you didn't even know misconceptions, scorns, of course over dough Charity, friendship but then outrage over somethin new in the den thing is your money not theirs did you spend but the thinkin got them round the bend up all night, stressed out online gave you a shout respond what will it be guess wait and got to see Current Mood: distressed (Comment on this)
Monday, April 6th, 2009
12:42 pm	All Who Seek, May Find, In Abundance. So many, wander in darkness, feeling alone. Not realizing, ever companioned, by Deity. Structure provides, manner to accomplish, desired results. Repent, strive toward the light, and become it. Fill thyself, until full, spilleth over unto the nations. Love, truth, hope. Father, Brother, Companion. All who seek, may find, in abundance. Time, a resource, most valuable. Treasure gifts, of all types, within the sphere. Despair not, lift up, thy betheren. In perpetual glory, shall be, in the end. Fufilled phrophecy, revelations, and hopes. In the fullness of time, in the embrace, of our Lord. Current Mood: hungry (Comment on this)
Monday, January 19th, 2009
10:57 pm	a story Jaharax bowed deeply before Pheonixia, his large frame rough before her immaculate one. Wearing the robes of purity now, Pheonixia once was a bard, and a rowdy one at that. That was before she found the Faith. Now she was one of the elect. She had even managed to cow one of the fallen angels unto her will. Jaharax was a proud being, but before her, was humbled. His yellow eyes peered up at her between his ram like horns. When they grew to big, she would file them down for him, a task he enjoyed greatly. He was bound to her will, and gladly. He would endeavor to cause all that she wished, to his detriment, sometimes she did not truely wish what she said. She soon learned to watch her tongue around him, as the least whim she uttered, did he try to have fufilled, as was often the case with his kind in a situation like this. They were built for action, to solve the problems of the faithful. Though he had been fallen, he had become hallowed, and perhaps would regain exaltation, through faithful service to a mere human. Though, she was afraid of her own heart, and of the drama that ensued from the hearts of her fellow humans. She knew the heart to be a wicked thing, when untamed, as is the tongue. She looked down at him in pity, little did he know, but she knew him once, before. She herself had to keep herself and him at bay, and under control, lest passions unleashed not be able to be put under sway again. Besides, as a represenative of the Sisterhood, she had certain duties to fufill, though at times it was taxing. Jaharax knew she favored one of the Traveling Brotherhood, he desired her himself, but knew it could not be, for unless he was free to follow his instincts, what would it be? He would serve, as was his place, until such a change in the firament, could deny them no longer, or he was released, or fled. But to flee, he desired not, even this marveled him, for he was rebellious by nature. Current Mood: distressed (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
12:13 pm	oh yeah oh yeah, I see, I haven't been on much has me. lately update on earlier skate So, Washington, holds one, who sought each other some fun, my feelings were, in seeking in kind, commitment and love in mind She was willing to offer body, but not commit, to what I desire in true lit So I split, wit her, as my feelings became not true, hollow inside, whoo hooo she deserves better, and so do I, gotta stop playing white knight, rescue, it's a lie, broken can't fix broken, can't see? Gotta find a whole to be with me. Gotta work on me, and them on them, gotta find the girl of my r.e.m. or whatevor, wihoo wihoo, so, write lately it seems yeah, work what? all the live long day? ha, ya, and crazy stuff nee, just where what who will I be? I was written of by a he, captivating and assasinating was told of my character in his story, ha interesting... Current Mood: melancholy (Comment on this)
12:04 pm	here lies buried cries here lies buried cries this is the journal that holds the darker side of my experience perhaps... Lonely hearts but each miss, nice old hugs, but never kiss... Soul and spirit, body and mind, which home is home, on the earths rind? Commitment, priority, integrity... watchwords, watch them flit here and there, in some, ruled by fear. It is too much to ask, that expectation be flask, ready to pour fufillment dejour, or whatevor, seeking a job, communication unstable, like a normal one to act he seem unable. OCD if he can't control all, then nothing, what a crazy ball... dancing to try and not step on toes, just what does it shows? My writing skills are appriciated, as I taught a lesson or so, gifted and true doctrine I, is what they say they know. Who shall I have, at the end of time? What gal is for me? The one who knows, playing mime. Current Mood: disappointed (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
2:22 pm	poems Streams of worth kind issued forth and down into gaping holes of debt conceptuals wherein time demanded all that was due when it wished to be so and time catches up with the money but will shall biz rescue the day? Let the future be with us and education, all the way to the bank mail school structure. ha let our will be done. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
4:40 pm	ah reunions... Ah reunions... So, I spent some time with my sibling, David. I was somewhat inspired to write... "Observing the Secret Hour." "Taste like blood and metal a rain of pain in your brain observing the secret hour It is filled with power But it stands alone. Except for a pair of mourning doves wherever we roam, and in the end we call it home." Stress, but fun, bonding yet expensive. It last until I awoke, and we went then to the land of Chestnut Hill, where people walk animals, and trolley tracks run through it, and a girl walks a bunny on a leash, and we thought it was a nice town indeed. Met more so, the people in black who hang out at the mall of M. Mother was not to be found till after on sound. got some new cards. Current Mood: devious (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
12:41 pm	Wow... Wow... So, Before, it was I kept becoming a brother... so, now, it seems, a nice change, but come on... I'm too tempting, and they don't trust themselves with me. what the beep? Well, I had a date or so that went quite well, good for me, but...ayuyuh... Where is the one whom finds me attractive, that's not a problem, and whom I find attractive and whom we are both able and willing to pursue a relationship? Work also may be a new animal seeking... ~J~ grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........................ Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 30th, 2007
6:40 pm	today weee weee anyway... earlier was in a poetic state of mind now... hmm And a great and thunderous clamor broke forth and all who whispered did so most heartily as the beached whales formulated plots as they lay dying on the sands of rythme what fortune say this, does the brave and bold and beautiful list when they say have you anything to take with you or declare, but not that you always depended on the kindness of strangers cause blanche you aren't even if you are a pale imitation of goo and mashpotatoes from France. So, more power to itself? Let us rejoice and be glad, lad from good beginings do bad tiding flow whilst plans upset the apple cart and miss the apples and oranges with pears and banananas.... let seven days commence and on the sixth day eat pie but that was yesterday that memo was eaten by dogs and children intent on proving the non toxicity of the city homework in public home school book bags under their eyes and the boardwalk skies phrophecy is vary vague and interesting. In the time of woe, shall emerge a foe, when the void descends from the skys and the darkness around, silences all sound and it's a dark as the deepest sea lies fend off the mark send to the park but tary not too long rend and rip and take a sip of your own medicine song. Strange, yet theoretically applicable to some far off date in possibility of existenece. tee hee. ~J~ Current Mood: tired Current Music: how to save a life... Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: hamster dance (Comment on this)
Friday, December 8th, 2006
7:04 pm	ha ha ha ha ha ha ... Wow. Twould be funny... oh well. Garth Brooks-Friends in Low Places. Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots, And ruined your black tie affair. The last one to know, The last one to show, I was the last one you tought you'd see there. And I saw a surprise, And the fear in his eyes, When I took his glass of champange, I toasted you, Said honey we may be through, But you'll never hear me complain, (Chorus) 'Cause I got friends in low places, Where the Whiskey drowns, And the Beer chases my blues away, But I'll be okay, Now I'm not big on social graces, Think I'll slip on down to the oasis, Oh I got friends, In low places. I guess I was wrong I just don't belong but then I've been there before, everything's alright I'll just say goodnight and I'll show myself to the door Hey I didn't mean to cause a big scene just give me an hour and then, I'll be as high as that Ivory Tower and you'll never know, Chorus I guess I was wrong I just don't belong but then I've been there before, everythings alright I'll just say goodnight and I'll show myself to the door Hey I didn't mean to cause a big scene just wait 'til I finish this glass Then, sweet little lady I'll head back to the bar (haha) and you can kiss my ass Chorus A chess set. Ha. Anyway... Talked to my EX. Really EX now. She apparently alikenes me to the Halocaust and like some people deny it happened, she's now denying "we" happened cause she doesn't want her new happy life to become turned into poo. Wow...messed up. Insult to injury eh? And I was apparently a low self esteem bandaid. She had thought it'd be better to be with anyone than noone. She tells me she hates me and wishes me dead. That she never loved me. And she seems to think that I'm the bad guy? wow... Such denial in herself...concerning that she is to become a shaper of the minds of our nations youth. So, she doesn't want to communicate with me or even be reminded that I exist. I do have meaning as a person and to others, just not to her. Apparently I ruined her life. And yet, she is the one who was as she put it, "Equivicating" which apparently means telling half truths. I mean, so she is a self admitted "bitch", but she's a smart person, so it amazes me that she would do something so stupid as to repeatingly perpetuate something that she told me was making her happy before but apparently was making her miserable. She also had apparently expected me to change to the way she wanted me to be. Why someone would repeatingly lie to continue something that was making them miserable and that then wasn't fair to the other person, just so they wouldn't come out looking bad...is confounding. I realize now that she was emotionally abusive and playing mind games. I spend quite a bit of money, time and emotional energy into her, and her return investment and way of thanking me is apparently to wish me dead and hate me. Wow. I'm actually now pleased and pleasantly surprised that I came out of all that as well as I did. I could have been tramautized, some lesser people would have been more so. Well, now that everything is cancelled, all plans we had, and any thing I owed her is long gone, I can say/do what I want. Just leave her alone. Well, I wish her well, and her new guy good luck. ~J~ Current Mood: vindicated (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 21st, 2006
4:35 pm	Well Well Things are looking up, I've met a wonderful gal, we have things in commmon, we met at Mystic Realms... there is a slight issue regarding approval of older types... eh.. Poem... "Fae Creature." "Have you ever met a fairy? Mischievious to be sure light hearted, sensitive can be wounded to the core ever seeking amusement to ward off boredoms way Capable of great rejoycing or bitter angst hey So, if you meet one you may be surpised though her mind seems like quicksilver her attention's gone away and though her memory flashes they thoughts get stuck she moves in the tween places and can tell you your great or you suck capable of fighting, but doesn't wish to cause trouble and worries it's her fault chaos though is fine and dandy and she's worth her salt she fits in small places and little does she eat she doesn't need much sleep in fact into your mind her words will seep but it's okay, if you are lucky enough you see, to have found a fae creature, I must be very lucky, For I've found one for me." Nee! :D ~J~ Current Mood: jubilant Current Music: You are my Sunshine... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
1:38 pm	Death and the heart Death occuredeth. My Nephew has died in womb. He is to be labored out today. :( Also, People and realtionships are complicated. the past: PAPA ROACH LYRICS "Scars" I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut My weakness is that I care too much And my scars remind me that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel Drunk and I'm feeling down And I just wanna be alone I'm pissed cause you came around Why don't you just go home Cause you channel all your pain And I can't help you fix yourself You're making me insane All I can say is [Chorus:] I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut My weakness is that I care too much And our scars remind us that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel I tried to help you once Against my own advice I saw you going down But you never realized That you're drowning in the water So I offered you my hand Compassions in my nature Tonight is our last stand [Chorus] I'm drunk and I'm feeling down And I just wanna be alone You shouldn't ever come around Why don't you just go home? Cause you're drowning in the water And I tried to grab your hand And I left my heart open But you didn't understand But you didn't understand Go fix yourself I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life [Chorus x2] Artist: Nickelback Lyrics Song: How You Remind Me Lyrics Never made it as a wise man I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin' Tired of livin' like a blind man I'm sick inside without a sense of feelin And this is how you remind me This is how you remind me Of what I really am This is how you remind me Of what I really am It's not like you to say sorry I was waiting on a different story This time I'm mistaken For handing you a heart worth breakin' I've been wrong, I've been down To the bottom of every bottle Despite words in my head Scream "Are we having fun yet?" Yet?, Yet?, Yet?, no no It's not like you didn't know that I said I love you and I swear I still do It must have been so bad Cause living with me must have damn near killed you This is how you remind me Of what I really am This is how you remind me Of what I really am It's not like you to say sorry I was waiting on a different story This time I'm mistaken For handing you a heart worth breakin' I've been wrong, I've been down To the bottom of every bottle Despite words in my head Scream "Are we having fun yet?" Yet?, Yet?, Yet?, no no Never made is as a wise man I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing And this is how you remind me This is how you remind me This is how you remind me Of what I really am This is how you remind me Of what I really am It's not like you to say sorry I was waiting on a different story This time I'm mistaken For handing you a heart worth breakin' I've been wrong, I've been down To the bottom of every bottle Despite words in my head Scream "Are we having fun yet?" Yet?, Yet?, Yet?, no no Then there is a song I wrote: "I Deny You." "Do you love? Or are you just trying to try me? Just trying to buy me for your own? And then, leave on the highway leave my by the by way and seal your doom? Oh no, you don't understand it you sure didn't plan it to turn out this way Oh no, you burn in denial refused to walk the mile and now you're alone And I, I deny you let out a sigh you are a ghost in my path no more! Now present situations are becoming to a head, as all those cliches target and inbed in my mind... We need to talk,where are we?, I want to know where this realationship is headed, I want to know I'm not wasting my time, my biological clock is ticking, I want commitment...and yes, I am the guy thinking these things. Crazy. Passionate and full of life. Chaotic. Different than those before. But ultimatly is it real? Have any of them been more than fantasy they allowed to become a quasi real thing? Games! Bah! I want real ... why? Why are people's hearts found in others? Drat! Me! I want to be the one. squints. hmmph. then there is the other. in common. all though both poke and call dork, as did one before call Dorkus. And of course I then there would be the other feller.crazy.But we is friends. Things, just kidding? hmmph. Physical guy I am this time? Well, at least shows am capable of being liked for physical. Yeah me. How is it I keep being too good, too nice? AHHHHHHH! Why be penalized for being a gentleman? What is world coming to? Pillow. weeee! Death, it comes unexpectantly ...is this how love comes too? Perhaps I should wait to be taken unawares...wait, ahhh! What is it? I have not allowed myself to super commit this time in prior ness and so my heart is a bit less entangled this time, but still... grrr. Confidence eh. NIce. fine. a 31 yr old for crying out loud! ...Pa! blah. stupid festivals. Safe. fields. grrrrrrrrrrr...roar.! A replacement for the red haired wonder. Another who is the brother. who has ceasced to like me lllll.....oh grrr in deed. Current Mood: pessimistic Current Music: Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
3:23 pm	“Rain Falls Down.” “Rain Falls Down.” Rain falls down, Some become tired, Others invigorated, Others annoyed, Others just wet. Dodge the raindrops. Unless you don’t want to Or find yourself unable to For reasons you may know What if the reign fell down? Would it deafen around your ears? Like some kind of parade Fit for pink elephants and fools That told their satire A day too late? The plants may grow The floods may flow The drop may go into the sea And become one with all That later will fall Onto both wicked and good with no fee.” The arrival is imminenat if it occurs. Knowledge is power, but if one is not to know it the power if less useful Let what shall be, be, but the known is known that wrong shall not be tolerated. Current Mood: knightish (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006
6:34 pm	For those who are new to this... For those who are new to this... this blog is my blog to explore my darker side, www.blurty.com/users/chaos_cat82 is my more normal blog, and then their are my myspace blogs. Anyway, the point is, not to nec. judge my by what you see here, as this is only a facet of who I am. Booya. ~J~ Current Mood: defiant Current Music: This is How you Remind Me Of what I really am (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 22nd, 2006
4:37 pm	fate of the rythmed “Not Too Late, Can They Know, Avoid Their Fate?” Striving, seeing across the barren sea Islands, no pillars of strength are there for thee Question, look within if boulders your shoulders bear For shame, oh longing ones, if you ignored the ones who cared For going to anyplace, it wasn’t their intent Simply joining in, laughing, yet sad smiles bent Boring is what the bored, spoke unto me But they knew what they were, and so bled this plea “Inspire us, lead us anew, so that in the ground we will not, end up too.” Shaking our head, we sat up in bed And we knew the time was nigh This too, could wait a moment, for it was said, some should die You cannot know, such a thing, feel it’s blow Oh cold hearted fools such as none So fill up your cup, drip off the cuff And belatedly fire your sign Forge a new day Let your son belay All the times you couldn’t know But fellowship this All those you stood there and dissed Pretending to know the good and to kiss The very folk you squash under your blow Let ears be heard and eyes be seen But let those who have them be not For sharp is the lesson they’ve yet to learn And kindergarten is not the time for them to rule But instead later on in school When they are out and about In yards and cars That’s when they shoulder their boulder And throw it about And join in weeding feasts That throw themselves onto the garbage burning heaps And question and gurgle All manner of turtle And forget that all be. Current Mood: sallow..not sure what that mea Current Music: these wounds they will not heal,ha (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
3:27 pm	So simple yet so complicated. So many seeking the same thing, yet somehow miss one another In the daily shuffle Perhaps you passed each other by, countless times And never knew That those you passed by Were just like you Looking for someone, That special someone, Someone to love, to respect Who would love and respect you back. Alas, cruel irony But perhaps tis for the best For who knows, maybe The one that is right for you Will find you When the time is right. Know that indeed, I am such a one, Who you may be passing by, And I am a seeker, Mayhap someday, I may be found. Current Mood: discontent Current Music: just wanna be with you (Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
1:36 pm	or something Sounds issue forth on approved channels Sights stream live and recorded Carefully edited for your enjoyment pleasure As to not disconcert any one at all Lessons never learned cause they were never taught Products and services sold and bought Come one come all Go where no one is where you seek them But may be there another day , thank you come again Flowers for the lady, they’ll die overnight, But that’s alright, she won’t be there anyway Help people out, be a good Samaritan Contact them, laughable You can, but why should they answer They already got your money And your pleasurable disposition Books and DVDs … Pass the time, Pass on the dime, hear for whom the bell chime Let you all pass right on through Except that guy he looks suspicious With his big ol’ coat And out of date clothes He must be a vampire Or a fashion victim Of society And television That entertains the masses Except when they can’t watch it Cause they have to go to masses Sorry second episode of power rangers You miss out Or are you spiderman? Can we ever know for sure? You masked heroes Who take our money For your merchandising Cause we’re off to see the wizard The wonderful wizard of Hogwarts Because because because Of the wonderful marketing he does All the churches are up in a fuss They all pile into a bus Except those with better things to do with their time Like sing songs and listen to rythme Okay so you win But you lose And all the papers in the toilets Won’t change your minds Even the great ones That declare Our independence from Tyranny and the money taxes That we ourselves collect Into our Borgish ways Sianorra. Current Mood: disconcerted Current Music: Breakfast at Tiffanys (Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 18th, 2006
4:09 pm	Shadows fall down and slide away before they can ever be chased so. You can't chase a shadow for it will always be either behind you, before you or within you. Unless you're Peter Pan. I dreamed I could fly. I shall seek in closer pastures. Unburden the light burden of connections not real. Seek the one whom I should find. Perhaps one was next to another, a twin. We may see. perhaps. Snow falls, lays, winter flays trees wind sun warm cold distraught over weather unseasonable, days off, football is increased in awareness. Perhaps Steelers and Panthers will play in Superbowl times. That would be cool. Mystic realms are places we to go. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............yesssssssssssssssssssssssssss booya so there. flit flat, this that and all that jazz like structure. Current Mood: alone but never alone Current Music: even the best fall down sometimes... (Comment on this)